After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. Back in the s, the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products. Because they already made cases for pocket watches, they decided to market compasses — which would also need cases — for the pioneers traveling west. It turned out that although their watches were of finest quality, their compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California.
This, of course, is the origin of the expression, "He who has a Tates is lost! Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during his root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication. Did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.
Did you hear about the man who couldn't find anyone to sing with, and bought a duet yourself kit? Did you hear about the man who spent his life collecting memorabilia of Wonder Woman, Joan of Arc, and Florence Nightingale? Apparently, he was a heroine addict. Did you hear about the midget clairvoyant burglar that escaped from jail?
The headlines in the newspaper read "Small Medium at Large. Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The wedding was terrible, but the reception was great!
The Wanton Dairymaid Trilogy by Tessa Dare
Did you hear about the UC Berkeley parapsychology professor that had really bad breath? It was a case of supercalifornianmysticexperthalitosis. Did you hear that Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein got together for a meeting last week to discuss their common problem? They both have Kurds in their whey. It was the herd shot around the world. Did you hear that the Energizer Bunny beat up a sales clerk? He was charged with assault and battery!
Did you hear the one about the comedian who only told sausage puns? His friends said he was the wurst. Did you hear the one about the gardener who accidentally sprayed his garden with herbicide instead of pesticide? He just ended up killing thyme. Did you hear the one about the man who lost his whole left side in an accident? Don't worry, he's all right now! Did you hear there was a fire at a Basque movie theater and unfortunately there was only a single emergency exit door, so several people were trampled to death, which only goes to show: you shouldn't put all your Basques in one exit.
During a hike with my friend, I noticed a black bird roosting in a nearby tree. If it's five, it's a raven. During intermission at the ballet, my friends and I were commenting on the beautiful costumes. We had all noticed, however, that the featured ballerina did not appear in the outfit she was pictured in on the program cover. A woman behind me, having overheard our conversation, politely tapped me on the shoulder and said, "That, I believe, is a substitutu. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.
However, all the records of their league were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus, we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled. Hank Williams' song about mineral rights: "Mine your own bismuth and you won't be mining mine. Hear about the ship that ran aground carrying a cargo of red paint and black paint? The whole crew was marooned.
That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. I'll bet you've been eating a lot of Hollandaise sauce, haven't you. You see, Hollandaise sauce has lemon juice in it which is highly corrosive. So I'll have to make you a new plate, and this time instead of silver, I'll make it out of chrome.
I haven't received this month's selection from the Cheese-of-the-Month Club, so I'm writing a play about it called "Waiting for Gouda. Absence makes the heart grow Fonda. I just heard that a radical segment of the woodworkers union broke off and formed a splinter group. It was filled with koala hair! I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
He said, "No, the steaks are too high.
Love - Wikiquote
Leif Erickson went off on his voyage to the New World and a couple years passed and his wife found his name missing from the town register and she went to the census taker to complain, she said, "You must have taken Leif off your census. Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she had ever tasted. After dinner, she went into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She was met by two of the Brothers. The fish and chips were the best I've ever had.
Out of curiosity, who cooked what?
- The Artists Guide to Photoshop.
- Really Cheap Thoughts;
- Scheins Common Sense: Prevention and Management of Surgical Complications: for Surgeons, Residents, Lawyers, and Even Those Who Never Have Any Complications.
- We Just Moved (level 2) (Hello Reader).
- Ejiravycyd.tk Ebooks.
Mahatma Gandhi was a great and spiritual man who spent his life walking the length of India and fasting. As a result, he was thin and frail with roughened feet and bad breath caused by the fasting. In fact, he was often referred to as a super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis. Many years ago, a tiny island nation in the South Pacific was home to some of the finest woodworkers who ever lived. Unfortunately, no one ever found about these legendary artisans since the only pieces they ever produced were thrones for the king of the island.
It was a tradition that every year, on the first day of summer, the old throne would be burned in a massive bonfire and the woodworkers would present the king with their newest masterpiece, an ornate and beautiful throne they spent all year carving and shaping. The king would rule from the new royal seat and then destroy it at the next year's summer festival. One year, a new king ascended to the throne and spoke to his council of elders. Someone should save them for future generations to enjoy. We have no room to build a museum. We will build a second story onto the royal hut, and we shall store the thrones there.
Every year, he would summon the strongest men on the island to carry the thrones up into the second floor of the royal hut and add them to the collection. But on the fifth year, the floor finally could take no more, and the royal hut collapsed, killing the king and his whole family.
The moral of the story? People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Adams and the devoted but chaste lover of Fanny Goodwill. His adventures in journeying from the Booby household in London back to the countryside, where he plans to marry Fanny, provide the main plot of the novel. The beautiful but reserved beloved of Joseph, a milkmaid, believed to be an orphan.
She endures many unsuccessful sexual assaults.
The recently deceased master of Joseph and patron of Mr. She is powerfully attracted to Joseph, her footman, but finds this attraction degrading and is humiliated by his rejections. She exemplifies the traditional flaws of the upper class, namely snobbery, egotism, and lack of restraint, and she is prone to drastic mood swings. A hideous and sexually voracious upper servant in the Booby household. Like her mistress, she lusts after Joseph. The nephew of Sir Thomas.
Booby is a rather snobbish squire who marries his servant girl, Pamela Andrews. Pamela, too, is a servant in the household of a predatory Booby, though she eventually marries her lascivious master. The master of the inn where Joseph boards after being attacked by the Ruffians. He intends to lend Joseph one of his own shirts, but his stingy wife prevents him. Later he is discovered in bed with Betty the chambermaid. A chambermaid in the inn of Mr.
Her initial care of Joseph bespeaks her basic good nature, but she is also lustful, and her association with him ends badly. A clergyman who never passes up a drink and halfheartedly attends Joseph during his recovery from the attack by the Ruffians. A friend of Mr. The story is nice. And there is a story about a man with a jog of milk similar to the milkmaid. In Persian there are some proverbs which associate most of fables by Aesop and the others. Today, I bought three works of Silverstain. I try to introduce the storynory to Iranian EFL learners whenever possible. Best regards, Rahele.
Dear Rahele, Many thanks for your comment. Thank you for introducing us to Iranian EFL learners. All the best! Bertie — January 28, Thank you, we are pleased you like them. The Three Bright Aesop tales are fable that we can learn a lot from and we can interpret their morals in different ways. The young milkmaid in the first tale,learns she is too proud with the young men of the village. Natasha — February 26, These are three great Aesop tales.
In The Milkmaid and The Pail,the milkmaid learns not to be so proud while she is tending her chickens and in the Story of the Wind and the Sun, the North Wind learns not to be so brutish. The final story of the three the Juno The Peacock learns how to use his shiny blue feathers wisely. Natasha — March 26, Natasha — April 3, Mary Harasaki — September 6, Natasha — September 6, Post this on 10 other stories, Kiss your hand 5 times, Turn off your computer and look under your pillow….
Love morals. They teach lessons. Fun and helpful to know some. Kelvin — December 29, Dear Natasha, thank you very much for telling and sharing with us such wonderful stories, which are filled with so music wisdom and beauty. May you, all yours and everyone everywhere be filled with a lot of peace, good health, joy and harmony. I just want to inform you that a peacock is not intirely flightless, as you can see then in trees or on rooftops quite often, if you ever visit the zoo.
Smallpox, Less-pox, No-pox
Bertie — May 28, LOL time to go bye bye but why do we have to write in English and nought French?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? I read these fables to my Chinese born wife at bed time. We are each 50 years old; one can always enjoy the pearls of Wisdom in these fables. Thank you from Toronto, Canada.
Thank you so much Matthew for your lovely message. We are delighted that you and your wife enjoy the stories and fables on Storynory. The story Juno and the Peacock is also a paper for kids to do an essay with. I actually like these storys. I do not know what he story can tell us! I like the story a little bit because it was kind of funny and it some time boring for me I am just saying. Home Storynory. As ever, these charming tales by Aesop come with morals for life.
Adaptation by Bertie. Leave a reply Cancel comment Did you like this story? Please write in English. Comments are moderated. Iam from Iran. Thanks for Natasha very much. I am from China,extremely like your voice. Dear Kelly Thats great news thanks. Hello This is great to hear. Hello Thank you for this comment, these three very bright tales adapted from the Aesop fables can help children from the characters.